Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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