Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops