Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Women's rights.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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