What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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