So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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9/11

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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