knock knock whos there not me

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Poop

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops