Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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