What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Poop

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops