A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops