Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops