You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Drunk irish man

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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