how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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