whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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