Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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I've got a dig bick

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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wanna here a joke??? read below...

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How do you spell eight? 8

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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I like hats XD!

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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since when?

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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