Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

19th amendment

Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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