What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Busted? What the hell is going on?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many cows say moo? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I had sex. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops