What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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