Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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A man made a sandwich.

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one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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