What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mmmmmmmmbutch

thumb_up thumb_down +23

one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

thumb_up thumb_down +23

(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

thumb_up thumb_down +23

if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy has cancer. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops