Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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american government

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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since when?

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I saw a poor man named rich

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what do you call a dead black man? dead

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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.....Carrot Top....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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