IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Write Your Own ___________________________________________ It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ____________________________________________ I have read and agree to the Terms of Service- VIEW TERMS OF SERVICE

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops