so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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A women president

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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