Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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42.

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What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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