The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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A Jewish man walked into a.............................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................car

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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