Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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42.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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