How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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Guess What! HI!

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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I was born.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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