Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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