- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Roses are red, Violets are purple

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

hey bill!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

whats purple and savage? Barney!

How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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