If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

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Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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dead battery come on down

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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pineapples

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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