How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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