Hi

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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