How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

What the difference between a alien and you nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

shea kisses a girl

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

pickle juice?

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

Spread the net.

what is the awesomest of them all? me

a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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