A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

your mother hates you

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

A seal walks into a club.

Matt is not funny.

If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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