How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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What do you call two black men kicking a ball? Soccer.

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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Hi

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops