How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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