How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

Some people like melon and others like soup.

obama leadership

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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