Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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