A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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9001

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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