Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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68 :)

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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