Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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19th amendment

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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my namew is jd

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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68 :)

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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