Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Womens rights

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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