why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

Seth stock has a large penis

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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