Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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A black teenage girl wants to get a job, unfortunately she is chained to a fence, beaten, and called a dog.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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