What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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