what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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Bloody kids ...

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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