What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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What's 4+7 47

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Worst joke ever

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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Vagina ass.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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