How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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where are you?

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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