What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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terry stockton is straight

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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A midget walks under a bar

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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69

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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