What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Leave her alone...

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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