What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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