What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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I'm a like whore

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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american government

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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A Black Man walks into a bar...

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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YOLO.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops