What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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