What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock Come in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Straight men can be bronies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops