How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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