What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

A guy has cancer. He dies.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

What's funnier than 24? 25

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Women have the right to vote.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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