A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Hashtag

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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