What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

5

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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