How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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