Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

hi

Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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